Tranny On Tranny Hate

I have begun to suspect there is a major problem in the transgender community. This isn't a new problem, but I was hoping that it was scarcer than it actually seems to be. That is, unfortunately, not the case, as I have seen recently. Many trans-folk who have gone full-time already have forgotten what it's like for those of us who, for whatever reason, can't, whether it be for financial issues, family issues or other complications.

I need to make it clear that this is not a universal problem, since many still are incredibly supportive to the less fortunate among us, but I still see a considerable number out there who utterly fail to remember the stresses that we have all had to put up with at one point or another. Surprisingly, there are some who have only been full-time for a little while, some as short as six months, who seem completely unsympathetic.

Naturally, they have other problems to deal with, but it still astounds me how some can completely forget how hard it is to have to pretend to be someone we're not out of pure misfortune. Getting jobs with the dreaded, obligatory background check, trying to avoid being fired from our jobs for simply existing, finding affordable housing without being denied for being transgender; the list goes on and on for how many problems we have to deal with as a group. But i had hoped that, as a community, we could be more supportive of each other.

I have a friend that I regularly chat with online who has fallen victim to this problem. The thing that makes me especially sad about this is that I helped her out when she was still questioning. That must have been about three years ago. However, since she was able to support herself, she's managed to complete most of her transition WAAAAAY ahead of me and has been full-time for a while now, and I find she's mostly unwilling to even chat now. A lot of times, when I try to talk about my problems, she just gets mad at me.

I can't deny that a lot of the hurt I feel is because of jealousy, but that I can feel with anyone. With her, in particular, there's a powerful element of betrayal; the feeling that, despite how much effort I gave to helping her, she no longer seems to care about me.

What makes all this worse is that this is, in fact, on top of the factionalization of the greater LGBTQ community. Most people are aware that gay guys often discriminate against lesbians and vice-versa, both have a tendency to discriminate against bisexuals, and often all of them discriminate against trans-folk, but there is a severe problem of trans-folk themselves having their own "elite" groups. Post-ops are sometimes prejudiced against pre-ops and are downright loathsome of non-ops. FtMs and MtFs sometimes don't get along. Even between the same gender, there are often lines drawn based on sexual orientation, which just brings into question the massive clusterfuck of discrimination that is. I mean, gay trans-folk discriminating against straight trans-folk discriminating against bisexual trans-folk whom are all hated by cisgendered LGB. . . There's a long list of problems with that, but I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

I do my part to try and create as much unity as I can, but it's a very tough uphill battle, especially considering how horribly isolated I am. Beyond just being something of a loner in my own right, I jokingly refer to myself as the "token minority" at my school's GSA since I am effectively the only trans-person there. I guess the joke isn't really that funny.

I hope that my friend and I can work out our differences and be able to talk more candidly again. For now, though, it's hard to talk to her without feeling like at any moment anything I say won't just turn into her getting mad again. I get enough of that from my mother.