Hello My name is |
Breanna Still |
My sexual orientation is |
ALWAYS!, activist, adult, ask me, aunt, bi-romantic, bisensual, bitch, butch, butch-ish, butchdyke, byke, chapstick lesbian, chick, chubby, chunky, cunt, Democrat, daughter, dreamer, dudette, dyke, family, fat dyke, female, female-identified, feminist, femme-ish, femmy butch, friendly, full-time, GLBT, GLBTQ, GLBTQA, GLBTQI, GLBTQIA, geek, gender ambassador, gender defender, gender gifted, genderqueer, girl, girl lover, girly, gynephilic, homosexual, in transition, intelligent, introvert, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQA, LGBTQI, LGBTQIA, LGBTQIOPPS, LGBTQIPPS, leftist, lesbian, lesbian-identified, lesbo, lezzy, liberal, M2F, Ms., MTF, ma'am, male-born, miss, monoamorous, myself, nerd, none of your business, open, passionate, person, pre-op, pro-choice, pro-family, pro-gay, progressive, queer, queer dyke, quiet, quirky, romantic, same gender loving, she-bitch, she-geek, shy, sister, snuggly, socialist, static gendered, sweet, TG butch, tomboy, tomboy femme, tranny, trannydyke, trannygirl, trannyqueer, trans, transbutch, transdyke, transexual, transfemale, transfemale butch, transfemale femme, transfeminine, transfolk, transgender, transgender warrior, transgirl, transperson, transqueer, transsexual, transwoman, trustworthy, understanding, weird, wench, whole-brained, witch, woman, woman-loving, XY, YES! |
What's yours? |
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Why the "Birther" Conspiracy Theory is a Load of Turtle Shit
Okay, I'm going to try something a little different this time around and write about something not remotely related to transgender or lgbt issues. I'm going to explain why the so-called "birther" conspiracy theory is a load of turtle shit finely glazed in horsefly larva.
Okay, first, I suppose I should explain what the birther theory is for anyone who has had their head under a political rock. Basically, the "birthers," as they've come to be called in the media, are a group of Americans who have come to believe that President Obama won't show his "real" birth certificate because he was actually born in Kenya and is, thus, not legally eligible to be president of the United States. This is mainly a group of conservatives, people who don't like Obama anyway either based on his policies or because ZOMG OBAMA'S A MOOSLIM!!! (which he isn't) or just because he's a black man (which he is. What, did you think I was going to lie about the obvious truth?).
First off, I should point out that the initial basis for their argument is totally, factually wrong. Obama has already released his birth certificate. Of course, the argument that is thrown back at this is that it is a "Certificate of Live Birth" rather than a "Birth Certificate." Yes, I know, there's a clear distinction (eyeroll). The governor of the state of Hawaii (the state where the president was born) has publicly stated that the birth certificate is real. On top of that, there are newspaper announcements of his birth from the time (which was about fifty years ago at the time of this writing).
Okay, so let's look at this. We have a "Certificate of Live Birth" from the state of Hawaii, CONFIRMED by the government there, and newspaper announcements of the birth. "But the announcements are fake!" Uh, no they're not, Mr. Dumbass-who-can't-accept-a-black-president. Take a good look. Every credible source has confirmed them.
So here's where things step off into clear conspiracy theory land: those newspapers were PLANTED so that he could fake his citizenship and become president! That's right: the birthers believe that the president's birth announcements were faked so that he would be allowed to be president. I shouldn't even have to go further than that to convince a reasonable person that this is bullshit, but, considering that more than half of the Republican base believes this, I will. Let's say, for a moment, that it's possible they did plant those announcements in the newspaper on the date so that Obama could be allowed to become president. Why? If you want to convince me that your crazy fucking conspiracy theory is true, explain to me why any crazy person would even WANT to do something like that? Why would anyone say, "Oh, let's find some foreign born black kid and forge announcements of his birth in Hawaiian newspapers so that he could become president someday!" Why not just pick someone who had no reason to question whether they were born in the United States? Or, more than that, why not pick a white boy? It DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!
So, there. If you are a reasonable person, you should be convinced now that Obama was born in Hawaii. If you aren't convinced, then that should be a clue to you that you aren't a reasonable person, but there's no point arguing with you since you won't accept any of the same facts as me anyway. For those who are convinced of reality, go out there and use this to tell the morons to just accept the truth that they can't admit to themselves. Hopefully, if enough people keep telling them they're wrong, they'll finally figure it out.
Okay, first, I suppose I should explain what the birther theory is for anyone who has had their head under a political rock. Basically, the "birthers," as they've come to be called in the media, are a group of Americans who have come to believe that President Obama won't show his "real" birth certificate because he was actually born in Kenya and is, thus, not legally eligible to be president of the United States. This is mainly a group of conservatives, people who don't like Obama anyway either based on his policies or because ZOMG OBAMA'S A MOOSLIM!!! (which he isn't) or just because he's a black man (which he is. What, did you think I was going to lie about the obvious truth?).
First off, I should point out that the initial basis for their argument is totally, factually wrong. Obama has already released his birth certificate. Of course, the argument that is thrown back at this is that it is a "Certificate of Live Birth" rather than a "Birth Certificate." Yes, I know, there's a clear distinction (eyeroll). The governor of the state of Hawaii (the state where the president was born) has publicly stated that the birth certificate is real. On top of that, there are newspaper announcements of his birth from the time (which was about fifty years ago at the time of this writing).
Okay, so let's look at this. We have a "Certificate of Live Birth" from the state of Hawaii, CONFIRMED by the government there, and newspaper announcements of the birth. "But the announcements are fake!" Uh, no they're not, Mr. Dumbass-who-can't-accept-a-black-president. Take a good look. Every credible source has confirmed them.
So here's where things step off into clear conspiracy theory land: those newspapers were PLANTED so that he could fake his citizenship and become president! That's right: the birthers believe that the president's birth announcements were faked so that he would be allowed to be president. I shouldn't even have to go further than that to convince a reasonable person that this is bullshit, but, considering that more than half of the Republican base believes this, I will. Let's say, for a moment, that it's possible they did plant those announcements in the newspaper on the date so that Obama could be allowed to become president. Why? If you want to convince me that your crazy fucking conspiracy theory is true, explain to me why any crazy person would even WANT to do something like that? Why would anyone say, "Oh, let's find some foreign born black kid and forge announcements of his birth in Hawaiian newspapers so that he could become president someday!" Why not just pick someone who had no reason to question whether they were born in the United States? Or, more than that, why not pick a white boy? It DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!
So, there. If you are a reasonable person, you should be convinced now that Obama was born in Hawaii. If you aren't convinced, then that should be a clue to you that you aren't a reasonable person, but there's no point arguing with you since you won't accept any of the same facts as me anyway. For those who are convinced of reality, go out there and use this to tell the morons to just accept the truth that they can't admit to themselves. Hopefully, if enough people keep telling them they're wrong, they'll finally figure it out.
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Paper Bag Challenge
I recently had a conversation with a woman who wanted to learn all she could about me and being transgender. She was surprised, however, when I explained that I am a lesbian (terminology which, despite the seeming clarity on my part, was rather confusing to her), and seemed to have difficulty comprehending why anyone would want to be part of the opposite gender if they were still sexually attracted to them.
This is a misconception which is still rampant in spite of my having essentially passed beyond it long ago. In short, it's a concept that people seem to have difficulty grasping, while for me it's just something I've taken for granted. But this time I think I've got her beat. I asked her, "Well, do you think you could live as a gay man, with all the social pressures that entails?"
Her response actually stunned me, though I suspect many of my cisgendered readers may expect it. "Sure, I think so." Again, when discussing issues of gender and sexuality, my cisgendered readers will have to forgive me, for it's essentially like I'm living on a separate plane of existence, not because I view myself as above others but simply because I've had a lot more time to study and live through these things that most people never even consider. I was amazed at the level of certainty she seemed to have in which she said these words. It was as though she had never considered what her own life would really be like, and I have concluded that that is something that was lacking on my own argument. I need to show people what it is like to be forced into a social role to which you are not emotionally connected.
And thus, I have devised what I call my Paper Bag Challenge. I had initially conceived of several rules, but none of them fit in any scenario I ran in my head, so I decided to simply pare all the rules down to the core spirit of the challenge.
For 30 days, no one, not even you, can see your face.
The most likely way of achieving this is, of course, the classic paper bag with holes for your eyes and/or mouth, etc., but it could also be achieved with a mask or a veil. From 12:00 am the first day to 11:59 pm of the 30th, at no point when anyone can see you or when you are within view of a mirror, should your face be exposed. Obviously, it is recommended that the covering be removed while sleeping, but only for safety's sake. Significant others should hopefully be asleep, but even so any social interaction you have with them will be bag-on.
The premise is pretty basic: your face is one of the most important identifying features you have, and for this challenge you are to have that feature removed. You can not look in the mirror and be happy with what you see, because there is nothing to be seen. People will look at you strange. Indeed, that is part of the challenge as well, as the experience of being transgender often involves people looking at you in a way you are not wholely comfortable with.
Naturally, this is not a perfect simulation of the experiences of being transgender, but I imagine it is a pretty good start. I don't expect anyone to accept the challenge, as it is intended to be mostly theoretical. However, the challenge is physically possible, so if anyone felt they were up to it, I would love to hear of their experiences.
This is a misconception which is still rampant in spite of my having essentially passed beyond it long ago. In short, it's a concept that people seem to have difficulty grasping, while for me it's just something I've taken for granted. But this time I think I've got her beat. I asked her, "Well, do you think you could live as a gay man, with all the social pressures that entails?"
Her response actually stunned me, though I suspect many of my cisgendered readers may expect it. "Sure, I think so." Again, when discussing issues of gender and sexuality, my cisgendered readers will have to forgive me, for it's essentially like I'm living on a separate plane of existence, not because I view myself as above others but simply because I've had a lot more time to study and live through these things that most people never even consider. I was amazed at the level of certainty she seemed to have in which she said these words. It was as though she had never considered what her own life would really be like, and I have concluded that that is something that was lacking on my own argument. I need to show people what it is like to be forced into a social role to which you are not emotionally connected.
And thus, I have devised what I call my Paper Bag Challenge. I had initially conceived of several rules, but none of them fit in any scenario I ran in my head, so I decided to simply pare all the rules down to the core spirit of the challenge.
For 30 days, no one, not even you, can see your face.
The most likely way of achieving this is, of course, the classic paper bag with holes for your eyes and/or mouth, etc., but it could also be achieved with a mask or a veil. From 12:00 am the first day to 11:59 pm of the 30th, at no point when anyone can see you or when you are within view of a mirror, should your face be exposed. Obviously, it is recommended that the covering be removed while sleeping, but only for safety's sake. Significant others should hopefully be asleep, but even so any social interaction you have with them will be bag-on.
The premise is pretty basic: your face is one of the most important identifying features you have, and for this challenge you are to have that feature removed. You can not look in the mirror and be happy with what you see, because there is nothing to be seen. People will look at you strange. Indeed, that is part of the challenge as well, as the experience of being transgender often involves people looking at you in a way you are not wholely comfortable with.
Naturally, this is not a perfect simulation of the experiences of being transgender, but I imagine it is a pretty good start. I don't expect anyone to accept the challenge, as it is intended to be mostly theoretical. However, the challenge is physically possible, so if anyone felt they were up to it, I would love to hear of their experiences.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
To Crawl Within Your Own Skin
So, this weekend I am planning to attend my cousin's wedding. I need to point out right now that this is a good thing, despite the things I am about to say. There are a lot of negative points of this trip that I am about to discuss, but I would not be going through them if I did not truly want to see my cousin get married. It is practically a miracle that I am able to attend at all, even in the rather dreary conditions.
First, my mother is bringing me with her, mainly because she doesn't want to go alone and no one else will be willing to go with her. On top of that, we have to drive all the way from Southern California to Reno, which is about 500 miles, and that's a long way to go with someone you don't generally like spending an afternoon with. However, oddly enough, despite the fact that I have to endure an entire weekend with the woman who abused me for more than twenty years and pretend I'm enjoying it, the thing that I think will bother me the most is the fact that I have to wear a suit.
I have come a long way in my transition, but I really don't feel ready to go full time yet, so I've agreed to wear a suit for the wedding in order to make sure that I at least don't bring anything down for my cousin. Well, "agreed" isn't exactly correct. I made a choice to wear a suit, mainly out of my own lack of confidence that I would be able to show up wearing anything else that wouldn't stir up trouble.
I talked about this with my therapist, but I don't think he understood how serious this is to me. He didn't seem to register that this was more than fear or anxiety. Yes, those are key factors in my experience of this, but this is more about pain than anything else. Fear and anxiety are things that I deal with on an everyday basis, being that I am a sufferer from a rather severe anxiety disorder. But this goes deeper than just that. It is as though I am having something truly forced upon me. That I am being forced to do something that goes against every fiber of my being and don a costume I told myself I would never wear again. I'm quite positive that many people who read this would find the analogy offensive, but I really do think that this is similar to what a rape victim must experience. Not in a physical sense, naturally, but in an emotional sense. There is a strong sense of guilt and violation. The painful memories it brings up are difficult to bear.
But, as I tell myself, it is a labor of love. I do this not because I want to or because I wish to do what my mother wants me to do; I do it because I truly want to see my cousin have a nice wedding and I would do anything to make sure she has the best day she possibly can. And so, I will wear a suit to the wedding. However, there is a condition that I apply to this. I swear to myself that this will be the LAST time I EVER wear a suit. I refuse to allow myself to suffer this ever again, and so after this I am ramping up my transition. Up until now, I have taken my time in order to not overwhelm myself; I am, after all, an anxiety patient. But I will no longer allow myself to do that. I will do what I can to transition as quickly as possible. I will NOT allow myself to suffer this pain again no matter what it takes.
I will get my ears pierced soon as a first step, as silly as it sounds.
First, my mother is bringing me with her, mainly because she doesn't want to go alone and no one else will be willing to go with her. On top of that, we have to drive all the way from Southern California to Reno, which is about 500 miles, and that's a long way to go with someone you don't generally like spending an afternoon with. However, oddly enough, despite the fact that I have to endure an entire weekend with the woman who abused me for more than twenty years and pretend I'm enjoying it, the thing that I think will bother me the most is the fact that I have to wear a suit.
I have come a long way in my transition, but I really don't feel ready to go full time yet, so I've agreed to wear a suit for the wedding in order to make sure that I at least don't bring anything down for my cousin. Well, "agreed" isn't exactly correct. I made a choice to wear a suit, mainly out of my own lack of confidence that I would be able to show up wearing anything else that wouldn't stir up trouble.
I talked about this with my therapist, but I don't think he understood how serious this is to me. He didn't seem to register that this was more than fear or anxiety. Yes, those are key factors in my experience of this, but this is more about pain than anything else. Fear and anxiety are things that I deal with on an everyday basis, being that I am a sufferer from a rather severe anxiety disorder. But this goes deeper than just that. It is as though I am having something truly forced upon me. That I am being forced to do something that goes against every fiber of my being and don a costume I told myself I would never wear again. I'm quite positive that many people who read this would find the analogy offensive, but I really do think that this is similar to what a rape victim must experience. Not in a physical sense, naturally, but in an emotional sense. There is a strong sense of guilt and violation. The painful memories it brings up are difficult to bear.
But, as I tell myself, it is a labor of love. I do this not because I want to or because I wish to do what my mother wants me to do; I do it because I truly want to see my cousin have a nice wedding and I would do anything to make sure she has the best day she possibly can. And so, I will wear a suit to the wedding. However, there is a condition that I apply to this. I swear to myself that this will be the LAST time I EVER wear a suit. I refuse to allow myself to suffer this ever again, and so after this I am ramping up my transition. Up until now, I have taken my time in order to not overwhelm myself; I am, after all, an anxiety patient. But I will no longer allow myself to do that. I will do what I can to transition as quickly as possible. I will NOT allow myself to suffer this pain again no matter what it takes.
I will get my ears pierced soon as a first step, as silly as it sounds.
Friday, June 25, 2010
What I Am
Things have been real hectic lately, so I've been kind of neglecting the blog. Since I've moved in with my brother and his kids, my position in the house is still in a bit of flux which has made me a little uncomfortable and unable to write, but I'm hopefully going to start getting back into the swing of things.
So, I've thought up a bit of poetry:
What I Am
I am a gamer
I am a woman
I am a feminist
I am a lesbian
I am angry
I am loving
I am lonely
I am not alone
I am not weak
I am not a freak
I am not a martyr
I am not invisible
I will fight
I will love
I will share
I will smile
Do not fear me
Do not hate me
Do not worship me
Do not want me
I am
So, I've thought up a bit of poetry:
What I Am
I am a gamer
I am a woman
I am a feminist
I am a lesbian
I am angry
I am loving
I am lonely
I am not alone
I am not weak
I am not a freak
I am not a martyr
I am not invisible
I will fight
I will love
I will share
I will smile
Do not fear me
Do not hate me
Do not worship me
Do not want me
I am
Thursday, May 6, 2010
On The Nature of Abuse
It is very common that people misread the emotions and stability of others. For example, if I had a nickel for every time I had a panic attack in public and nobody around me even seemed to notice, I'd be very wealthy. This is because people often don't see what they would expect to see.
Television has a lot to do with this. People see examples of people having nervous breakdowns and panic attacks on t.v. and in the movies, but when they see one in real life it's as much a surprise to them that what they're looking at is a panic attack as it would be for them to realize that an Arab person could be a Christian (no offense to Arabs, Christians or any combination thereof. I'm sure you know what I mean).
I've always felt that if you were to perform an experiment in which an actor imitated a real panic attack with one group of people and a "televisionized" panic attack with a control, you'd find that almost everyone in the test group and actually several people in the control group would do nothing. I'd even be surprised to see anyone in the test group even staring, because a real panic attack can be incredibly, even dangerously quiet.
It is much the same way with abuse. I guarantee that if one was to show a group of people actual abuse without telling them what it was, they wouldn't recognize it as abuse. It's especially the case if the form of abuse being shown is not physical abuse. Physical abuse is the most widely accepted form of abuse in our society, and few people are even aware that there are other kinds of abuse. Verbal abuse is somewhat known, but other than those two, abuse is almost ignored by society at large.
Probably the most underrated form of abuse is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse occurs when a person is actively controlled and manipulated by another through their emotions. If a person spends one day caring and loving for another person, then the next day telling them they're awful, and then the following day is back to loving and caring, that throws the other person through an emotional roller coaster that can be almost as psychologically scarring as physical abuse. Worse, even, in some cases, because it is not recognized as abuse and can lead a person to feel like they may have genuinely done something wrong, with no one outside the relationship recognizing anything out of the ordinary, and so it goes on for years without even being acknowledged.
This is the nature of abuse. Much like torture, it is not the actual physical harm that is often characteristic of it but the psychological damage that often goes unnoticed. Abuse victims start to live in fear of the abuser. They start to do anything they can to appease them in order to prevent that assault, whether it is physical, verbal, emotional or sexual.
As an abuse victim myself, I feel that it is time that we expanded the public understanding of abuse. Too many times have I shared about my own abuse and been attacked and shamed for it. Telling an abuse victim that they aren't really the victim of abuse only adds to the pain that they feel, and emotional abuse is often treated as though it is not actually abuse. It also doesn't help that abuse victims often don't even realize they are being abused.
Television has a lot to do with this. People see examples of people having nervous breakdowns and panic attacks on t.v. and in the movies, but when they see one in real life it's as much a surprise to them that what they're looking at is a panic attack as it would be for them to realize that an Arab person could be a Christian (no offense to Arabs, Christians or any combination thereof. I'm sure you know what I mean).
I've always felt that if you were to perform an experiment in which an actor imitated a real panic attack with one group of people and a "televisionized" panic attack with a control, you'd find that almost everyone in the test group and actually several people in the control group would do nothing. I'd even be surprised to see anyone in the test group even staring, because a real panic attack can be incredibly, even dangerously quiet.
It is much the same way with abuse. I guarantee that if one was to show a group of people actual abuse without telling them what it was, they wouldn't recognize it as abuse. It's especially the case if the form of abuse being shown is not physical abuse. Physical abuse is the most widely accepted form of abuse in our society, and few people are even aware that there are other kinds of abuse. Verbal abuse is somewhat known, but other than those two, abuse is almost ignored by society at large.
Probably the most underrated form of abuse is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse occurs when a person is actively controlled and manipulated by another through their emotions. If a person spends one day caring and loving for another person, then the next day telling them they're awful, and then the following day is back to loving and caring, that throws the other person through an emotional roller coaster that can be almost as psychologically scarring as physical abuse. Worse, even, in some cases, because it is not recognized as abuse and can lead a person to feel like they may have genuinely done something wrong, with no one outside the relationship recognizing anything out of the ordinary, and so it goes on for years without even being acknowledged.
This is the nature of abuse. Much like torture, it is not the actual physical harm that is often characteristic of it but the psychological damage that often goes unnoticed. Abuse victims start to live in fear of the abuser. They start to do anything they can to appease them in order to prevent that assault, whether it is physical, verbal, emotional or sexual.
As an abuse victim myself, I feel that it is time that we expanded the public understanding of abuse. Too many times have I shared about my own abuse and been attacked and shamed for it. Telling an abuse victim that they aren't really the victim of abuse only adds to the pain that they feel, and emotional abuse is often treated as though it is not actually abuse. It also doesn't help that abuse victims often don't even realize they are being abused.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Year So Far
This has already been one of the most stressful years of my life, and it's not even half over yet. In my ever-continuing effort to improve my ability to function at a normal level, I'm now taking three classes in college. I know for many people, that's not much, but for someone still recovering from a very long-term disability it's a challenge. As it is, I'm barely keeping up. By the end of the semester, I worry that I may not be able to get all my papers finished on time.
To make matters worse, my parents' impending divorce and sale of the house is starting to drive my mother, who is already crazy as hell, batshit insane. She's actually starting to tell me things like our real estate agent "wants me out of the house as fast as possible" and stuff like that, which not only doesn't make any sense, it's potentially harmful to our real estate agent's business.
So, in an effort to find a more stable home I've been working with my brother, his wife, and my father in an effort to work out a place for me to go. We had just decided to rent a house together, but that brings us to my latest stresser: I just found out that my brother and his wife are splitting up.
So now the plan is for her to move out of their apartment and me to move in on May 1st. I don't really know how to feel about that. It upsets me that this is happening, because I'm very close with both of them and I'm worried I may lose a friend. On the other hand, it gives me a place to live other than the house full of crazy I'm living in now. But then there are their kids, and I can't help but think it's going to be incredibly hard to look them in the eyes and not want to cry because of what it must be like for them.
I'm really emotional right now, as you can imagine. This is a hard time for all of us, and I'm doing my best to keep up, but it's been incredibly stressful. I feel like it's a testament to my strength just how well I've kept together already. I've been crying a lot, though I suppose that has a lot to do with the hormones. I actually find that to be kind of a good thing. It's liberating.
I hope to be free of this limbo I seem to be stuck in soon. When I'm able to work, I will hopefully be able to earn enough money to make greater progress in transition. I've been really hurting lately because I've had a few instances where people have pointed out some rather undesirable features on me and it has really upset me.
So, that's my life these days in a nutshell. I hope things can start getting better soon, but frankly I'd just be satisfied with it not getting worse at this point. Things are rough enough as-is.
To make matters worse, my parents' impending divorce and sale of the house is starting to drive my mother, who is already crazy as hell, batshit insane. She's actually starting to tell me things like our real estate agent "wants me out of the house as fast as possible" and stuff like that, which not only doesn't make any sense, it's potentially harmful to our real estate agent's business.
So, in an effort to find a more stable home I've been working with my brother, his wife, and my father in an effort to work out a place for me to go. We had just decided to rent a house together, but that brings us to my latest stresser: I just found out that my brother and his wife are splitting up.
So now the plan is for her to move out of their apartment and me to move in on May 1st. I don't really know how to feel about that. It upsets me that this is happening, because I'm very close with both of them and I'm worried I may lose a friend. On the other hand, it gives me a place to live other than the house full of crazy I'm living in now. But then there are their kids, and I can't help but think it's going to be incredibly hard to look them in the eyes and not want to cry because of what it must be like for them.
I'm really emotional right now, as you can imagine. This is a hard time for all of us, and I'm doing my best to keep up, but it's been incredibly stressful. I feel like it's a testament to my strength just how well I've kept together already. I've been crying a lot, though I suppose that has a lot to do with the hormones. I actually find that to be kind of a good thing. It's liberating.
I hope to be free of this limbo I seem to be stuck in soon. When I'm able to work, I will hopefully be able to earn enough money to make greater progress in transition. I've been really hurting lately because I've had a few instances where people have pointed out some rather undesirable features on me and it has really upset me.
So, that's my life these days in a nutshell. I hope things can start getting better soon, but frankly I'd just be satisfied with it not getting worse at this point. Things are rough enough as-is.
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